Honour Life, While You're Living It

Life is so fragile, so short. Age is a meaningless number.

I very recently, lost a friend of mine who I'd known since I was in high-school in Hong Kong. He was a few years younger than me, an almost inconceivable notion to accept that he is no longer among us. A few weeks ago, another good friend of mine passed away. She was much older, but like I said, age does not matter. Life is life.

We are so focused on the here and the now, and we weep with the loss of those who go before us. And while their presence is no longer here in persona, their energy and "life" continues on. Their adventure has only just started, and what an adventure that is.

For those of us "left behind" on this spinning rock, we must make the most out of every minute, and create our adventure each and every moment of each day.

We need to focus on living and not focus on the negatives that hit us and hold us down/back.

Does it really matter that someone you love said something that offended you? Would it be so important if they were to go in the next few minutes?

Each time I am faced with the loss of someone I love dearly, it just fortifies me to love stronger, deeper, forgive more readily, accept unconditionally, and always make sure I let those I love know their worth to me, my appreciation of them, and how much I love them.

In the end, when we sit back and look at all the "little things" that have "piled up", they truly are only our Selves building mountains out of grains of sand. These "mountains" will dissipate with the storm of loss. So why hold on to those mountains, continue adding to them, at times burying ourselves under them? Just let go.

Release the negativity, the anger, the annoyance... It doesn't really matter. It's almost never "that" huge, and living a life where you can truly LIVE and let go and let God, will reduce much stress in your own life, and may possibly prolong your life.

Rest in peace my dear friends and loved ones who have departed. Your lessons have been etched upon my soul, and I pledge to remember them.

I am filled with gratitude and love for all of you who are in my life, even if you only read my updates, "Like" something, or make a comment here and there, you each mean so much to me, and I want to extend my gratitude and love for you all.


Namaste

_/|\_

How the Pure The Love for a Child Can Connect Us

I have discovered today the complete and total unconditional love for a little girl. My niece has completely captured my heart. Is it normal to fall in love so totally in the first instant of seeing her on my Skype monitor?

Prior to today, I had only "known" her through the few photos I had been sent, and the few stories I had been told. I had not seen her in real time, moving, talking, experiencing any time "with her" as far away as I am. And I guess that put a barrier up between us, made her seem all the less "real" to me.

This afternoon, I spent almost two hours observing, talking, and falling in deeper love. Thanks to the beautiful invention of Skype, I was transferred into my mother's living room, and was able to talk to her, and have her see me, hear my voice, interact with me.

The first moment Mum moved her monitor and camera and my niece's face encroached upon my screen, tears of complete, unconditional love filled my eyes, and my heart grew several inches in my chest. The instantaneous adoration for this little girl enveloped my entire being.

WOW! I never knew such a connection before, in complete totality. There was a single moment of absolute cognition as my being whispered to me "She has some of my blood coursing through her. She is a part of me." and in that moment, I fell even further and deeper in love.

My niece is a year old. Only recently has my Mother figured Skype out, so I have not had the opportunity before this to "meet" her.

I have lived away from my family home for over eight years now, living on the opposite side of the Continent and in a different country. There have been times when I have grown homesick, but phone calls, emails, and an occasional visit has eased much of any homesickness. I have built a life that is different from my family's and as I have grown up and moved on, the truth of the matter is, we all get caught up in our own lives. We connect at times, touch base, say "I love you", but then we become consumed by our own lives once again.

In the eight and a half years since I moved away, there has only been two times when my heart ached to near breaking at not being home, being right there, experiencing and seeing first-hand. Those two times happened exactly (to the day) three months apart, in 2010.

The first was the day my niece was born. Circumstances were such were there was more than a possibility that I would not have seen her immediately anyway; but to be there with my family, my parents, my siblings, to celebrate, embrace and welcome this new life into our family.

The second was three months later when my Dad passed away suddenly. Once the initial shock and devastation lifted slightly, the only thing that consumed my mind was getting back home. Being with my Mum, sister, and brother. Sharing in the grief as a family under one roof.

Endless phone calls that lasted hours ensued during that first month. And in my mind the only thing I wanted was to be home. But as that first month turned into a second and then a third, I found that my mind began to ease on that feeling of wishing to be home.

Eventually, I will go home; probably not to stay, but for a visit. I realise that my life has moved on. I am a different person. I have grown in a direction that puts me on a different path. And that is OK.

However, moments like today, seeing my niece for the very first time, my arms now longing to hold her, my lips aching to kiss her; and it will happen. We have a life time ahead of us. Until then, we have the beauty of Skype to help us to interact. Today, she not only met me, but my dog and I saw her figure out how to grasp a crayon and draw something for the very first time.

And today, in that instant when I felt and saw the connection that she and I share, the same DNA and blood that courses through both of us; I recognized something deeper, bigger, higher. In a momentary blink, an instant that flashed before me, I became suddenly connected to all who went before me, my ancestors; and my nieces' ancestors - OUR ancestors. I saw the bigger picture for all of us. I recognized it and I embraced it.

In an momentary glimpse of the Universal Connection, I saw all of our DNA strands connecting, inter-mingling, and becoming one.

I saw the truth and absolute meaning in "Namaste" - I see you in me and me in you. Together, we are one.

What a beautiful gift my precious niece gave me today. And how in that alone, it makes me fall in love even deeper and greater; not just with her, but with every single person, we truly are all connected.

_/|\_

Namaste

©Leyla Hur

All Rights Reserved. Copying, altering, displaying or redistribution of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited.

Introspection on Osama bin Laden's Death

I admit, last night I got caught up in a momentary wave of excitement and jubilation over the killing of Osama bin Laden; but upon further contemplation, I began to see another picture. While I am glad that the worlds greatest mass-murderers in recent times is now gone, do I truly feel "happy" with his killing?


Martin Luther King Jr., aptly said "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."


And when I reflect on all the feelings I have on capital punishment, is his killing really something that I can honestly rejoice over? My common thought in a capital punishment case, is to not kill a killer, giving him/her the luxury of a single closed cell, complete with TV, radio, typewriter (in some cases, computer), books, three-square meals a day, roof overhead, and bed, without threat from outside sources until a death where one is simply, and humanely put to sleep. But rather, put them in main-stream population where they have to watch their backs every single day for the rest of their natural lives. Maybe my thought process is cruel and unusual, but I also think that death can often be "too easy", especially in extreme cases of barbarism on the part of the offender.


Do I understand and empathize with the celebrations and the jubilations? Did I not say myself "the devil has been sent back to hell"? Yes I do and yes I did.


Someone told me that I was a product of a sick and perverse society, and in my momentary glee-filled jubilation, I agree that I was acting in such a way.


As I meditated upon my actions, my thoughts, and my feelings today, I updated my Facebook page as such: "In retrospect, I feel peace is so much healthier than revenge. I feel love is so much greater than hate. I feel that we are all on various paths and at different stages on each of those paths; acceptance, embracing, forgiving, and loving will be that which will bring us all inner-happiness and inner-balance." And this truly is how I feel.


When we get caught up in a moment, and these moments do arise, these "human-based emotion" moments, we do sometimes take a step on what is solid ground, what is "grounded", and we forget that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We don't need to beat ourselves up for these feelings, or these emotions, but it is important to understand them and learn from them, especially if we are striving to live a balanced and Spirit-filled life.


Each experience we have is just that, an experience. There are no mistakes in life, just opportunities for learning. Last night, I had that opportunity. I embrace it and I learned from it.


Many years ago, when I was studying Kabbalah, I learned that each experience we encounter will create an action or a reaction on our part. When we react, it is nothing more than a giving us a mile-marker to know how far we have come, and what areas of our life we still must work on. 


I am grateful for the experience, and I am grateful that I know what areas of my life I still must work on as I walk this path in this journey called "Life". 

Namaste

©Leyla Hur

All Rights Reserved. Copying, altering, displaying or redistribution of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited.

Life's Curveball

Life changes in an instant.

I have had this experience too many times to recount.

I remember waking up one morning in 1999 to find my husband missing. Several days of worry and wonder at where he was "this time" came to an end when, three days later I woke up to news that he had killed himself.

In July 2010, I woke up one morning and went about my day, only to receive a phone call in the afternoon with news that my beloved father had died suddenly.

This morning, I woke up, began my day, had several things I was going to accomplish, and then learned news that my dearest friend had been in a severe accident.

The point I am trying to make is not what happened to these individuals, the point is how do we deal when we are faced with such situations. The point is examining ourselves up until the point of devastating news. The point is making a mark that matters each and every moment of our lives. The point is telling those you love "I love you" at every opportunity, and truly mean it from the bottom of your heart. The point is loving our Selves deeply, truly, and completely and being OK with our Selves no matter what is happening in our environment.

While I am still reeling from the news of this day, and I try to find my balance within the day, I can't help but think of the events leading up to the day.

While it is true that I am not living in someone else's brain and am not God to be omnipotent and know everything, I still ponder... that is a normal human emotional reaction to question.

As humans, we feel we need to know the answers to everything at every given moment, especially when we are affected. But to what end?

As humans we ask "why?" and "How could this be?" to that point that we often drive ourselves crazy, and sometimes driving ourselves into faithlessness, anger, and hatred. While these are "normal" human reactions to situations, we must also know when to let go and let it just be.

This is one of the hardest things to do. To not allow our minds to drive us to places of craziness in over-thinking, over-analysing, and over-doing. Sometimes, things are just as they are; there is always a reason, but maybe that reason is not ours to know (just yet). Maybe it is not ours to know ever.

Re-playing situations and events out in our minds over and over again, does not change the outcome. Learning from a situation can better help us understand ourselves and our reaction to the event. Will it make a difference for further events should they arise, it can and sometimes it doesn't as human emotion can sometimes outweigh and overcome rational thought.

Getting locked and lost in a moment of time, without it being able to change the outcome, just holds us back from the reason for being in the exact place and time we were when the event or situation happened.

Nothing happens to us without reason. It might not be our reason, and to understand this, one has to go outside of themselves to accept that there may possibly be a greater energy force at play.

After my first husband killed himself, I became homeless within 2 1/2 days. For a long time, I got lost in the "whys" and "how comes" and "what could I do differently's". The fact remained that nothing I could have done would have saved his life if HE did not want it to be saved. At the time, there was nothing I could do to change the situation to which I became homeless.

What I learned from that experience was that life sends us curve-balls, sometimes on a more continual basis. Maybe the curve-balls are sent to show us how strong we are to overcome. Maybe they are sent to change us from one situation to another (one path to another) that is more suited to us. Most often, the curve-balls are not easy to bear. They are not fun. They are uncomfortable, but that is why they are called "curve-balls". How we deal with them is the key to our learning and our growth.

Each of us has potential for growth. If we did not, we would not still be in this life, walking the path of a human being. But sadly, too many of us get locked in to place. We get locked in to the situation and life we are in, because change is scary, uncomfortable, and at times too difficult to grapple with.

Too many of us get stuck. We may not like the situations we are in, but we are more comfortable staying the course of the known, than traversing the path of the unknown and potentially experiencing something amazing.

There is a saying about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. Sometimes it is. But if we are not willing to explore, and take a chance, take a risk, we will never know. We will only dream of the rumours that occur.

Sometimes, we take that leap of faith and find ourselves standing in a briar patch. That is OK too because often it is not the destination, but the journey to the destination that is where the learning and the experience comes.

Once our minds are expanded, they can never constrict back to where they once were.

The more we ask "why" from an outside source, and the less we ask "why" within ourselves and then traverse a path of learning to understand what OUR "why" is, the more we will continue to be locked in the groove we have created for ourselves.

When things happen "to us", we can shut ourselves down and shut everyone out, and get lost within the constant loop of replaying what happened; or we can jump off the wheel that is spinning furiously around us, and create a positive change in our life.

Death is never an answer to that change. It leaves behind a trail of unendings, pain, more questions, and cyclular events. It traps others into a web of attitude and devastation.

When death occurs in the natural frame work of time, it is more easily understood and more readily answered. But the taking of ones life, the thought of taking ones life, is not an answer.

Death does not end our current situation, but rather it perpetuates it on a grander scale. This experience of life is for learning, for gathering information, and for experiencing everything - including some of the most difficult and painful moments. To take away that life sends us into a tailspin of having to address the issues in a different place, a different time, but nevertheless still having to address them.

Death is easy. The contemplation of dying is the hardest part. The actual death process is easy. I know, I have done it time and time again.

I too have contemplated, gotten lost in the depths of misery, and attempted to take my own life on more than a few occasions. Once the mind is made up, everything else is easy.

But it is not worth it. The consequences, the climbing back, is all the more difficult than starting to create a change in environment, attitude, and visualization right where one is standing now.

I understand this issue from both sides of the fence, having done it and having it done "to" me. And I have learned some of my greatest lessons from it.

When that black cloud of despair, depression, and pain lifts, and the light begins to infiltrate again, perspectives change.

If that black, suffocating, pain-filled cloud is settling around you right now; burst through your own emotions, find that determination within yourself and seek a positive and creative change. Do not get lost in it, do not get trapped in it. There is a greater answer, a more positive solution and that curve-ball CAN be caught, and then ran with.

Know that you are NEVER alone. You are of infinite worth. You are a precious commodity here upon this earth to share of your Self, your Light, your Love, and your wisdom and knowledge with others. Each one of us has just cause to be here at this very moment in time and at this very place. There is only one way to go from here, and that it up the path of learning, success, and to do it with love.

YOU are loved beyond your greatest imaginings and you are NEEDED beyond that which you can comprehend, and so often by those who do not voice it. Hold to that truth and that knowledge and keep walking the path, it WILL get easier in time, I promise you this.

I celebrate YOU in ALL your glory, your beauty, your wisdom, your Being-ness. Please take a moment to look in the mirror and celebrate and love YOU as I see you and love you.

Celebrating your magnificence!


*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

United States National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Australia Lifeline: 131114
Samaritans UK: 08457 90 90 90
Samaritans ROI: 1850 60 90 90
Samaritans Hong Kong: 23822007

INTERNATIONAL World-Wide Suicide & Crisis Hotlines:
http://suicidehotlines.com/international.html

©Leyla Hur

All Rights Reserved. Copying, altering, displaying or redistribution of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited.